What hurts the most PruHun
by squirrel15
Summary: This is a songfic based on Rascal Flatt's  song. A story about Gilbert's love for Elizabeta but he never let her know. Sorry I suck at summaries, Rated T for safe
1. Chapter 1

**Hi I'm Kira**

**Well, Lady Author *killed by Author* get this idea when she watched a Prussia x Hungary video in youtube made by 4 years old boy (maybe he's 5 now) and started to cry. Well at first she thought she cried because of how stupid she's, she failed to make a well sad pictures slide show *Author kills her OC* but then she realized that she was crying because of the song and Gilbert and Elizabeta's relationship (that she has no idea what) and the background song was 'What Hurts the Most' by Rascal Flatts. She then started to write this FF based on the song's lyrics. And well you could categorize it as Gil's journal**

**Well, we're sorry if there is still so much typos and cliché scenes. This is our first FF to be published.**

**AUTHOR DOES NOT OWN HETALIA AND THE LYRICS BUT SHE OWNED ME AND STELLA. DANKE SCHON **

**Note: letters that are in italic and bold are the lyrics and Author suggested you to listen to the song while you read it (if you don't want to that's okay)**

_**I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house**_

_**That don't bother me**_

_**I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out**_

"I'm going to married" said her smiling

"Oh? With who?" asked I

"Roderich" said her "I know you and him like a mortal enemy but—"

"Oh that's okay; I believe your choice is the best" I said, well of course, how can I say 'Stop the wedding I'll propose you right away'? It will be a stupid thing for awesome people like me to say.

_**I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though**_

_**Going on with you gone still upset me**_

_**There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay**_

_**But that's not what gets me**_

"Wow, congratulation to you" said I on her wedding day.

"Thanks Gil, glad you can come and beside you're my best friend" said her

"Yeah whatever" Then we laughed just like when we're a kid. She looked stunning that day, beautiful. But yeah, I'm just her best friend.

_**What hurts the most**_

_**Was being so close**_

_**And having so much to say**_

_**And watching you walked away**_

She was dancing with her husband, okay I hate that. I admitted it, and then a memory flashed, when I was a young awesome Gilbert. I asked her to come to a very quiet place because I wanted to say something, but yeah I'm too ashamed to say it. Hey even the Lord of awesome sometime too shy to confess his feeling.

Then I snapped from the dream when I heard Roderich was screaming because Gilbird had attacked him. What an awesome pet he's.

_**And never knowing**_

_**What could've been**_

_**And not seeing that loving you**_

_**Is what I was trying to do**_

After I took Gilbird away I went outside the building, and wondering at the night sky. I know Eli better than him, then why she chooses Roderich? Is it because he's wealthy? Or is it because he's a fancy pianist? I never understand girls.

But still, I love her more than him I believe. Yeah but sadly, she doesn't realized and never realized. Well I believe that was my fault not to say it first.

_**It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go**_

_**But I'm doing it**_

_**It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friend and I'm alone**_

_**Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with regret**_

"Hi!" said her in one very early morning and she bring my mortal enemy too "Sorry to bother you, and by the way, were you drunk? You are messed up"

"Me? I just having a hard day just that" I said and letting them come in to my house "And beside you didn't tell me you'll come with _him_"

"Oh yeah, I thought I could come in every time I want and laughed at Ludwig who was baking cookies?" then she laughed.

"Funny, I missed that day. Oh by the way, do you want something? Ludwig just baked some cookies yesterday, and it was delicious" Then she nodded, so I went to the kitchen to take a jar full of Ludwig's homemade cookie.

We talked about a lot of thing, but still with no reason why, I hate how she smiled to his husband. Well jealous maybe, because I thought I was the one who she shared that smile, laugh and everything

_**But I know if I could do it all over**_

_**I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart**_

_**That I left unspoken**_

~ Flash Back ~

"Urm… Eli, can I talk to you somewhere quiet?" said the little boy.

"Duh… You were talking to me in the forest and it's pretty quiet" said the little girl

"Eheh… right…"

"What is it Gil? You seemed very suspicious"

"Well…"

"Gil, you wasting my time" then she left the boy alone "Come on, there'll be intruders any minute" she shouted.

"Yeah…" said him

~ End of Flash Back ~

Okay memory always hurting. Not to mention that one. I was going to say 3 words to her that maybe will stop this nonsense tragedy of losing my love. I wish I said those words. Now it's hurting so badly. I hate it.

_**What hurts the most**_

_**Is being so close**_

_**And having so much to say**_

_**And watching you walked away**_

Damn her bastard husband, what the hell was he thinking. He wanted to abolish Prussia, my country, my soul, because there is too much conflict? Where was his brain?

I was so mad at him, so I left the meeting room. I could hear footsteps running behind me. "Gil!" said a familiar voice "Please stop, I'm sorry"

"It's not your fault Eli" I said still not facing her

"It's mine! Okay! I don't want to you to suffer to solve your country's problem because of World War 1!"

"You what?"

"I'm sorry okay!"

I didn't know what to do; Roderich opinion was Eli's advice. I was really mad at her then the word that slipped from my mouth was: "Leave me alone Eli, you such a traitor"

She was crying, and she hit my back with her frying pan then left me alone. She didn't know that I was crying too. Later after that, I was trying to apologize to her but, she snapped first. "You call me traitor, I thought you're my best friend Gil" Those words killed me. And she just passed me like that.

"Eli—"I tried to grabbed her arm but she pulled it first

"Don't come near me again Gil, I hate you"

From that day, I fell sick. Tired because of my country and losing Elizabeta. Ludwig was panicked too when he heard the doctor said that my life won't last longer. Well I don't care; I'll die with my country anyway.

_**And never knowing**_

_**What could've been**_

_**And not seeing that loving you**_

_**Is what I was trying to do**_

Again, Ludwig screamed to me because I only eat a little food, and I only can lie on the bed. And again the doctor warned me, if didn't eat anything, I'll die sooner or later. Well, I don't care I already lose Elizabeta and I'm going to lose everything.

And I'm getting tired to show Eli that I do care about her, that I love her. But still those three words still stuck somewhere, even until she married that damn bastard. I still can't say those words, until I'm dying too.

_**What hurts the most**_

_**Was being so close**_

_**And having so much to say **_

_**And watching you walked away**_

"I hate you Gil" ah, those words, echoing in my head. The doctor checked me again this morning, he said that my condition is getting worst and my life span wouldn't be more than a day.

But everything is now just a waste; I'm going to lose everything by the way, my country, my people and everything, and already stupid enough to lost my best friend and my love. Yup, I hate myself.

Ah 24 February, I should write a letter to her, beside 25 February is my country's abolition day. Danke Schon, Elizabeta, for being my best friend. I'll ask Ludwig to give it to her tomorrow.

Well I don't know if I could write again, tomorrow is also my life span's limit. Ah…

Gilbert 'the Awesome' Beilschmidt out… forever

**Ah… Gomen Author have to kill Gilbert here. And sorry to cut it here, because the next chapter will be Elizabeta's POV and there's a letter for her from our lovable Gilbert Beilschmidt, our AWESOME Prussian.**

**Still, please R&R we love you Reviews…. ^^**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, this is Stella**

**Yeah, you see both Kira and the Author are crying because of this chapter. But I'll cry if some of you say this chapter is the saddest part of the story. Okay once again sorry to kill Gilbert in the story.**

**DISCLAIMER: WE DO NOT OWN HETALIA AND THE LYRICS**

* * *

><p><strong><em>And never knowing<em>**

**_What could've been_**

**_And not seeing that loving you_**

**_Is what I was trying to do_**

(Elizabeta's POV)

"Hello is this Elizaveta's house" said someone outside. I ran to the door and opened it.

"Oh? Ludwig? Hi" I said, because it's kind of strange, he always come with Gilbert. "Where is Gilbert?"

"Well, he… he… died yesterday. He wasn't eating well, and his body isn't well enough. He even only drinks a small amount of water and the doctor said that he might die because of stress he had"

I couldn't believe what had I heard from Ludwig. I fell to the floor, but Ludwig caught me, I was crying well maybe the loudest cry. "You were joking right?" but he shook his head and handed me a letter. It was from Gilbert, he wrote it just before he died.

I opened the letter, with tears on my cheeks. I couldn't believe I just lost my best friend, and he's Gilbert Beilscmidt, a Prussian who's going to lose his country.

_24 February 1947_

_Dear Elizabeta Herdevary_

_Hi, well this is your awesome best friend, kesesese. Yeah, actually I've been lying in bed since your pesky husband say that Prussia should be abolished. Yeah actually I'm still upset when you say you hated me, but I know you were joking._

_Anyway, I know tomorrow or precisely when you received this letter my country going to be abolished. And you can laugh because I'll lose everything and I just give my awesome country to a council and let them abolish it. But I don't care, I already lose something important since, well the last meeting I attend. You, not just as my best friend, but as someone I love._

_Actually write this letter because I have something to confess. Words that I should've said long time ago. 3 word that I should've said years ago. Ich Liebe Dich, I love you mein Elizaveta Herdevary._

_Yup, since a long time ago I always see you as someone who means more than just my best friend, a very awesome someone who is more than just a special best friend. Then I heard you say you're going to marry a fancy pianist it kind of breaking my heart but that's okay._

_And when you say you hated me… kesesese, I know you were joking, because you say those words lots of time but after that you say sorry. Well this time you didn't and actually, I began to think I just lost my best friend. And because I was very stressed out, my condition reach its limit, I infected by a virus and the doctor said that actually that thingy already infected me a long time ago, but because I was weak so the virus took over my body._

_And, I want to thank you for being my best friend. The doctor said that my life span wouldn't be more than 24 hours, maybe when you read this I already gone. So before I go forever, I want to say Danke Schon, and I love you Eli_

_Sign_

_Gilbert Beilschmidt_

_PS: Say hello to your pesky stupid fancy pianist from awesome me!_

"Gil…" I cried, well because Roderich wasn't there so yeah, I cried on Ludwig's chest (Kira: I. Envy. Eli. Author: Shut up) not believing he was gone forever. No more cheeky laugh from him, no more "I choose GILBIRD over you" and no more "I AM THE AWESOME GILBERT!" now Gilbert Beilschmidt and Prussia only name…

"Tomorrow will be his funeral" said Ludwig, then he pushed me softly, "I have to give this news to everyone"

"Okay" then he left. And I'm alone, holding Gil's last letter. Then memories about him flashed, his "KESESESE HA!" and "THAAAA YOU CAN'T CATCH ME" until when he teased Roderich, yup now everything just a memory.

The next day was his funeral, and for the last time to I saw him from the coffin. He was thinner than last time I saw him. I brushed his platinum-white hair for the last time. "Rest, you've done enough Gil" I said.

I could feel Roderich aura was different, like he was regretting his action or something. And still thinking he made Gil suffer until he died.

When his coffin was being buried, everyone is crying. Antonio and Francis, seriously, they almost made me laughed because of how they cry. And then Ludwig who trying not to sobbed really hard, the Italian twins even Kiku was there.

When everybody left I was the only one there, kneeling over where he was buried, then Ludwig came. "Eli, I found this on Gilbert's table I think this was meant for you" then he handed me a small emerald green box.

"What's this?" I asked, but he only shook his head. So I opened it, it was a blood red ruby stone, just like his eyes. Again tears flowing from my eyes. "I couldn't believe that awesome Gilbert is a very shy person, he even afraid to say his feeling" then when I took the stone, a small paper slipped from the box. It was written by him

_Dear Eli_

_Yeah I'm so stupid until I couldn't say my feeling. Well so this was how I say my feeling. With the red ruby, it matches my eyes by the way! But red also means love right? So I hope you understand what I mean._

_Awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt_

"Stupid Gil" I said "I hope you could hear me Gil, I love you, but I was afraid you hate me when you found out I was a girl" I put that box in my pocket and I walked away. Then I could hear his voice, "I will always love you Eli"

I turned around. And again, I ran back to his cemetery and kneeled next to his tomb stone. "Gil! I will always love you too"

**_And not seeing that loving you_**

**_Is what I was trying to do_**

* * *

><p>AN **Again, sorry I killed Gilbert here actually I like him as a chara and because I like chara with white hair and red eyes fufufu kesesese *shot* well then this is my first FF so… I hope you like it! Please R&R 'kay? **


End file.
